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DIY: Easy Pop Up Birthday Card

Illustrated by Iim Nisak Few weeks ago I received a present from my friend. It's an amirugumi doll that she made by herself. It felt different receiving a bought present and a handmade present. Of course I'm grateful for both presents. But I feel more loved and appreciated because my friend put so much efforts in making the present for me. A special customize present just for me. So, here I'm gonna make birthday card for my friend. It's very simple that even a beginner can make it. Although it's simple, of course it's still contained much love from us. Prepare the tools and materials below: 1. Cardstock size 19 cm x 31 cm 2. Cardstock size 21 cm x 33 cm 3. Origami paper 4. Ruler 5. Pen 6. Glue 7. Scissor Fold the cardstock size 19 cm x 31 cm into half and draw the pattern. Cut the 1st level, fold it upward, then fold it inside. When you open the paper, you'll see the 1st level pop up. Cut the 2nd level. IMPORTANT: only cut the upper part of the paper. Fold i...
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Feeling Empty



Illustration by Iim Nisak



I don't know what's happening to me
I just know that there is something wrong in me
But I don't know which part of me is wrong

Many thoughts come through my mind every time
I don't know how to control it
I feel so tired
It feels so heavy

I feel like I haven't tried hard enough to solve this
But I really don't know what else I should do
I have thought hard enough but still I couldn't find the answer

I always cry and I don't know why
I have many people who love me
But still it's not able to ease me
I still don't find any comfort

I'm no longer find the passion to work
In this beautiful and happy working environment, I still feel empty
It hurts a lot and I don't know what to do

I'm tired
And I'm tired of getting tired
And it tires me even more
So stupid, right?

I know it's stupid
I fully realize that
But I'm still unable to stop it
I hate it
I hate myself for being like this

It's nobody fault other than me
I'm the one who’s responsible yet I don't know how to fix it
I keep blaming myself

But I also love myself
I don't wanna keep being like this
I hate it

Everybody cares about me
Yet I don't care that much about myself
I don't try hard enough to love myself
To find the answer

I HAVE TRIED! I REALLY HAVE!

I don't really know how I feel until now I found someone I can trust
Somehow he can read me
He cares about me though he needs me too yet I do nothing for him

This feeling, this emptiness I already felt quite for a while
But I step it aside
I try to convince myself that I'm fine
But no, I'm not
It's all coming out now

Even when he tried to help me, I still don't feel that comfort
Someone whom I thought I can rely on
No, it's not his fault
It's mine
It's my problem
It's my responsibility even from the first time
Not his responsibility, not his fault

What should I do?
Even how hard I try to find the solution, I still unable to find
Or maybe there is the solution, it's just me who don't believe it

I already feel really stuck
Don't know what to do
Don't know what to think anymore
I'm tired Numb


Jakarta, September 25th, 2018
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